Merry Christmas!
I've started to find the joy in these days - not for the presents, not for the food but for friends and family that make it a happy day. The delicious food, the thoughtful presents and tokens just adds to the day. This is what I hope to gain, in time.
Spent part of Christmas morning messaging friends, playing with them on Valheim. I left 'Apple' a present of wolves - an odd one but the only thing I really know how that is also unique. She built me a damn house, decorated with a beach view - she's talented, thoughtful, giving but I can't seem to get a 'hold' on her. I don't know how to talk to her.
We had a brief conversation, I sent an image off me cuddling a cat at mothers'. She insisted I am cute (attractive?) in a joke, later asking if it was too forward. I appreciated the compliment, it made me feel good about myself - this would never feature in my inner dialogue. I responded in kind, extending my appreciation but felt at a loss for words. I the future me will be more clued up about these interactions.
I visited mothers' for Christmas lunch, my brother was invited to church friends'. Mother and I had a good time, took a photo or 2 and enjoyed a great Christmas lunch. We discussed some of the past, my grandfather (her father's) side of the family - turns out insanity runs though the family tree. On one side, an extremely entrepreneurial grandfather and the other an extremely intelligent 'engineer'. Then there is me...
All in all, it was an enjoyable day which I'll look back fondly over - I hope to have many more such days.
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