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  • Writer's pictureCharlie

Last day, last chance and a new year - 31/12

It's interesting to hear how people's opinions of new year resolutions change overtime. Though, it seems I am not alone in considering the absurdity of it all - but yet there is a little 'magic' to it.


The day started off badly, felt down and alone as the days prior. I purposed to make something of the last day of the year, a last chance to enjoy 2023 - the shitty year with a few golden threads. I seem to struggle with feelings/emotions recently, when it hits it hits hard.


Tried to do some work, had brain fog. Tried to join friends, couldn't get into it. Tried messaging some folks - discomfort, and anxiousness awaits but there was one I was longing for to hear from. She unfortunately started cracking open this stone heart of mine, and I keep trying to close it back up, why do I do this?


A highly successful friend in the UK, who's been going through a rough time with his 'missus' messaged me in the early evening, wanting to hang out. I have been envious of him, specifically his success and extraordinary rise in career. We're the same age, he's accomplished far more than I have in a 1/4 of the time. What am I doing wrong? What am I not doing?


New years evening, I expected to be another lonely one - went out for ice-cream at McDonalds, drove past the beach and saw people gathering for the fireworks display. It was raining, yet the there would be celebrations. Ice-cream, some straw-berry donuts and biltong did not improve my low mood, figured I'd take up the 'Brit on his offer.


The evening, rocky as it may have been turned out to be one I can look over fondly, one that improved my mood and brought some happiness and possibly some comfort too. Comfort in knowing, I might not be the only one spending New Years alone and maybe those who have a 'good life', those driving 'Jaguars' may also have some rough times - but will never show it.


--

The story continues...

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