A (ice) bucket list item - 09/08/2026

A bucket list item I never thought I'd had, but now know I needed. First the first time, I was able to see and experience snow. It was at a place called Hogsback, after a troublesome start with accomodation, we got up early the morning to pack but also see and experience snow. We had to go searching for it, as the snow was only on some parts of the mountain, and as we drove up on the muddly, battlefield-like road we out of the blue happened on a tiny bit of snow. It was so subtle, it was so unexpected but it was there. Driving further on, we saw more and more until we were in a winter landscape of ice, mountains, bit of green trees and clouds. For the first time in a long time, I felt just the smallest bit of joy and eagerness, such a small sliver of inner excitement akin to that you feel as a child going to the park, or getting some McDonalds, or to play land.

Having gotten back, I've realized I ran away from my problems masquerading as a holiday. It is something I'm happy I did, but then again in the back of my mind I know I have work to do, not economical work but personal. I've lost that drive, that passion and I'm struggling to get it back. I've gotten lazy, sloppy, I've found my comfort in food and the occasional drink.

I've been trying to pick up an old habit, stretching and exercising religiously every morning. This gets difficult sometimes as the passion isn't there, I just chalk it up to will power but I feel alone and vulnerable.

I'm filled with dreams, have been depleting savings to attempt and pursueing some of these but after 2 and a bit months after resigning I can't say I've achieved much.

Something has to change, I need to change things up and I've been putting it off.