A new leaf? No, a mustard seed - 1/1

A mustard seed, small, insignificant can grow into a giant tree - rooted in Christianity, the metaphor applies.

New years resolutions, it's not the location of the earth relative to the sun, its not even about the sun or the earth or anything physical. It's a metaphorical fresh start, one you can share with many others. It's a support structure you can share with others, going at it alone makes these decisions more difficult than they are, no matter how strong-willed one is.

I was hesitant to join/message friends on new years eve, for fear of rejection (after a while not hearing from anyone, the pins started pricking) but I did so nontheless. This morning, woke up earlier than usual - checked my 'social media feed' to see who has had a good time, and what I have 'missed'. This changed after on the spur of the moment joining up with a few friends, also spending their New Year's evening online.

Maybe I should pursue projects that help society, instead of myself. Having experienced some low times, maybe I could be of help to someone else. I know I'm not out of the weeds - not even close but maybe these ramblings of mine could be a guide... in it's own way?

Let's see how the day pans out.

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I spent most of the day in the company of friends, some light rejection with some instability from an 'out-going' individual but a good day.

Rejection/lack of attention does hurt a little, I am glad for it - it makes you stronger. I am more focused, I am happier. Routine, self-care and respecting yourself will surely show. Respecting yourself, working for yourself and holding yourself accountable to be yourself is a productive and useful mindset.

I am glad for this revelation, I will continue on with it.