Slowly into madness - 24/10/2025

I often wonder why I write this, I'm speaking of the day but not speaking about me in the day. So, let me try I guess.

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I enjoy getting up early, but it takes a bit of effort. That effort is rewarded by a search the first rays of sunlight visible between the gutter's downpipe. Still, that's what city life is all about. Longing for something that you don't have, or maybe that's just what we do in general.

Work started off early, I feel I'm in the rat race already, either chasing a carrot or avoid the stick with very little room to move. Bounded by my peers, managers and juniors alike we all turn the wheel. Some just enough to set you back for you to get the stick.

Work has turned into frustration, coming in with the expectation of lies and deceit with promises of wonderland, I've not been disappointed. I guess I did not received the welcome package containing my rose-tinted glasses. I get the idea my peers either believe in the age-old adage of proving worth or are simply set in their ways. Either case, there is no place for me there and I am looking at leaving already.

Corporate has taken of a simple mobile app, structure has given rise to delays, and departments have silo'ed off positions & teams. This is no way to run a functional company, yet it appears to be successful in an addictive industry.

I feel I've let go of my morals & values, my purpose and focus for more money to throw back into the machine. I need to break free, I need to follow my real goals, I need to give myself purpose again.

I, like others, have my own platform to which I'm addicted. Some go to Facebook, others Instagram or Snapchat, I'm not different. Mine is 9gag and Youtube. I fool myself into watching 'educational' content as learning. In 10 years, I'd have gained knowledge on history, at the cost of not created history myself.

-I need to become history.-