Friday, missed day - 17/10/2025

Today, something happened - something that pushed the boundaries of my relationship. Something that, infact crossed the boundaries of my relationship and quite likely, will forever change or break my relationship with C. I expressed my concern, and how it made me very uncomfortable including worry & jealousy when C contacts someone from her past.

She knowingly and willingly contacted someone from her past, a gentleman that has featured and been made a problem solely due to her bringing up references to, has now for the first time taken priority in terms of needs over mine. His needs, took priority over my emotions and feelings, while being in a relationship. This hurt me, deeply. This has changed my relationship to C, maybe not hers. We spoke about these issues the evening before. I expressed how I felt, clearly. She said she could not have told me, etc. She said I did not come up in the conversation, not unlike last time when she expressed my feelings to him and did not do the work. This time it did not happen. This time it slipped through. This time, this 'ex' has crossed a line, and C helped him do it.

C has made all sorts of promises, and told me how she feels, etc. That means nothing. She knows she hurt me, she knows I'm hurt. She was selfish and she doesn't care. What use is it being in a relationship with someone who doesn't care about you yet whose world will fall apart without me. She says she has no more purpose in life, feels useless and depressed as by this age she should have a car/house in her name - she does not. I'm an emotional crutch, a safety barrier - not a partner.

I had a good day on Friday, I knew what was happening and expected it to happen but deep down I already prepared myself for it. I had a good day, and that shouldn't be changed by anyone. I also made some Chicken & Chorizo paella, it was quite nice.