It's been a while - 8 October 2025

Hey, it's been a while...

I guess I'll let give some more info as time goes on.

Right now, I'm working for a company in the gambling industry. I'm disappointed in myself that I reached this position, and I'm disappointed that I was unable to continue in the freelance/contracting industry. I've have however continuously applied for corporatate positions, however since I've gotten one I'm disaapointed in what I've seen: the quality of professionalism, the enthusaism and workmanship of output and the ego over team & role. "I'm taking off on X day" , "I think we should..." or "I'm making the executive decision". The professionalism is there, but it doesn't pull through. It's like a bad whisky, it will get you drunk but you don't have good time getting there. I'm not like them, I can't be like them, I don't have the same ambitions or mindset.

I know I'm able to achieve more.

In other news, I've been in a LT relationship for about 1.5 years, it's been amazing at times, but also rocky recently. I dropped alot of weight down to 94KG from 146 at my heaviest, now I've picked up to around 126KG. I know my mindset, my thoughts, my direction isn't set. I'm not focused, I'm not happy and but I'm surviving. Hell, I haven't woken up with a boner in such a long time...

I know I can be healther, happier and better...

Atleast I've started waking up earlier, I've been getting some haircuts more often. I know change comes slowly, so I'm starting to bring change again slowly but I know I need to stick to it.

I'd like to start drinking more water, and try to focus more on tasks during the day, no matter how dull.

Till tomorrow.